Remembering September 11th

I don't even know where to begin to talk about this day. Never in my life did I ever think I would see anything like what happened in New York that day. Life has gone on and much has happened since that fateful day in September 2001, but like one news reporter said,"You will not forget this day".
I first heard word of a plane hitting the north tower as I pulled into the parking lot of my job that morning. What I first thought was some kind of sick radio hoax turned out to be a world event that would forever change my life and rob me of my innocence. I stood with my colleagues glued to the break room television as we watched in shock as the world crumbled. How could this happen? I thought as I stood there, tears running down my cheeks. WE are AMERICA! WE are the most powerful nation in the world! How could something like this happen to US? In that moment I felt very small and very vulnerable. No place was safe, fear set in and I began to feel like I was waiting on Armageddon. As I watched the fires consuming the towers, I saw desperation in the faces of the rescue crews trying to conquer the monster. To my horror I saw that there were people actually jumping from 80 floors up to escape the flames! I broke down sobbing. I couldn't breathe. What must it be like I thought to be so hopeless and afraid that you would commit an act like that. Those poor souls. To this day I cannot erase the image of that moment. I refuse to give credence to any of the monsters who caused this disaster to happen. I still feel intense sadness for those lost and those who lost during this time. I also feel sad for our country to have experienced such a tragic loss of life. But as is our way we rose from the ashes, I hope that the American people never forget. I hope that always we remember what we are made of, what we can endure. Unite Americans! Remember patriotism! Remember love of country! Never forget who we are! Always be grateful for every blessing!

3 Day Weekend!!!

Yay! Finally a 3 day weekend for me!! Usually it is only a dream. Either the kids or I have something going and it really isn't 3 days off! But this time I have the weekend AND Labor Day off and the kids are off school and it is my year to have Aidan for Labor Day so the planets have all aligned for a great weekend!!! I am so excited!! All my babies and me! A free day to have fun. I have the weekend to study and get my homework all done and then on Monday I get to let loose with the kiddos!!! So if you don't have this wonderful weekend off.. I do feel for you, but if you do.. Congrats and have a great time!!

And the Beat goes On.....

Well, we are still among the living! It has been two weeks of school and no one has cashed it in yet! haha! I know that for kids the beginning of school means an end to summer freedom, but to moms it can mean a return to a nice normal routine. Summer is nice with no homework and no worries, but I really like that my children have something constructive (and tiring) to do each day. I am glad that they are not wiling away their time playing video games and watching tv. I love hearing my children read and seeing the glow in their eyes when they pull an assignment from their backpacks that we worked on together and seeing that big smiley face that means the teacher liked our work! This year is a big one for us. My little one started kindergarten and now my little nest is empty until 3:30pm each day! What a crazy time in our lives right now! My kids and I are all in school at the same time. It is a source of constant merriment to my children that I have to do homework too! I do regret some things from my decision to return to school. I miss having time with my kids. I have really been trying so much harder to make "special time" just for them. In fact I finally got a 3 day weekend for Labor Day and we have it all blocked off just for us!! I am pretty excited. I finally get a chance to be in the drivers seat, not just let life drive me! Speaking of schedules.... it is a bit past my bedtime so I better wrap this up. more blogs to follow!!

A Real Grown-Up Mommy

Today I feel like a real Grown-up Mommy! You know, those mommies who DO cool things, like have friends over and co-coach the team. Young mommies are busy changing diapers and washing baby things, and learning. I have graduated to the next level! My youngest goes into Kindergarten in the fall and my older children are going to be 5th and 3rd graders respectively. Today the youngest is with her dad for part of her summer visitation, the middle is with a friend at the mall, and the oldest is playing video games and eating pizza in his room with his best friend.
Now that the kids are getting older and cementing more long-term friendships I am seeing a new side to my little chicks. I enjoy so much watching them plan their get-togethers with their pals. There has to be just the right outfit and the perfect snacks and activities to enjoy. Does this purse match my shoes? Can we see this movie? Ahhh.... motherhood is sweet! Even with the occasional outburst and the attitude that comes with the age, these are some good times in life my friends, good times!! I just earned my Grown-Up Mommy status... I think I'll have some ice cream!

Slow Death of Small Town Life

My husband and I attended the Bolivar Country Days Rodeo a few weeks ago. It was a warm, humid Missouri night, just right for a rodeo! I always look forward to the event each year. It is a chance to run into old friends, spend some time with the family, and enjoy a little piece of my childhood. As a child I went to rodeos often and I still enjoy watching the cowboys and cowgirls compete for the winning time. The grand entrance commenced and as we watched the parade of horses and riders carrying their banners high as the strains of "America The Beautiful" played over the loud speakers. I settled in to enjoy the show. Things didn't follow the usual schedule of events when the announcer informed the crowd that we would be taking a few moments for an announcement from the arena owner. We were all there together celebrating the 20th anniversary of Bolivar's Rodeo at the Diamond 'S' Arena. Kind of a big deal if you ask me. For 20 years the Stutenkemper family has organized and hosted a family friendly event with the town of Bolivar. Some of the people attending the event that night had been attending since they were younger and now were bringing their children. So you can imagine the surprise when the announcement came that this would be the last time that we would come to this particular place for this event. I felt a moment of sadness when I thought about how an era had ended. I will never get to bring my children again. Someday when I tell a story to my kids or grand kids I will be talking about the "good ol' days" and it will truly be a time and place that no longer exist. I thought for a moment that this happens alot, the death of small town America. The small simple things melt away and all we are left with is bright lights, big sights and sounds, and lots of glitz. This isn't your grandmother's childhood anymore. I guess that is way of things. I really hope that someday the trend turns back the other way. Bigger isn't always better. I'm just sayin.

Parents

I got the chance to spend some time with my parents tonight. I really truly enjoyed it! I love my mom and dad so very much, but these days it seems like I just don't see them as much as I would like. My long hours at work and school are a factor as well as distance. They live 45 minutes away from me so it is hard at times to get together. When I saw them this particular evening, I was given the news that my Dad has been dealing with some health problems recently. It is hard for me at times to accept that my parents are getting older and that someday I will have to be without them. I really don't like facing that reality at all. I was really grateful that I was able to give my parents some advice regarding the issues based on what I have learned through training at my job. I am thankful that my education and training has allowed me to contribute to preserving my fathers health. I know that someday I will be called upon to care for my parents in their later years and I accept that without a problem. I would consider it an honor. I hope that all my training in the healthcare field somehow makes a difference in the quality of life that my parents experience. I have the best mother and father in the world and it is only the very best for them!

Vacation? Why Yes Thank You!

I am ready to take a vacation! I love to travel and I wish that I got to do more. I have big plans to make different trips around the U.S. to see all the beautiful scenery that our country has to offer. Don't get me wrong, I would love to visit exotic locations as well, but I just think that if you want to experience culture, history and natural beauty look no farther than home! I finally got my chance to visit Disneyland in California and next in line is Disneyworld! I want to visit the east coast and see the historical locations I have always heard about in history classes. I also have always been interested in Native American culture so I look forward to traveling to areas of the states that are steeped in legends and traditions.
I also wouldn't mind making a trip to Hawaii as well. I have only seen the ocean a couple of times so that is a sight I would love to experience! White sandy beaches with blue ocean stretching out across the horizon? Oh yes I think so!