Late Night Essay

So despite my best intentions here I am again doing my homework late at night on Sunday... Oh I tried to get it done early, every night I try, but only on occasion does that happen. I don't know how to micro-manage my time any tighter than I already do! I know that I could do better, because if there wasn't anything I could change then I would be perfect! I just haven't figured out just the right combo to fit dinner, conversation with my kids to stay connected, homework for all three of them, dishes, laundry, snuggle time, exercise, bills, and my own homework all into a 4 to 5 hour period. Plus my body lets me down on a regular basis, falling asleep before my work is done, my brain shuts down on me, my eyelids droop, head starts to hurt. Doesn't my body know that I am running behind? Some nerve I tell you!
I am feeling pretty burnt out this semester. I think it is just because there is way too much going on in my life that I wasn't prepared for. I factored in school, work, and the kids school. I didn't plan for so much illness, and ex trouble, and that I would have to work so much to make ends meet. All that has added up to make it way harder to learn than I had expected. I really really want to graduate from college, I am determined to stay, but I have a family to take care of and be responsible for. I have to get this right, I have to figure out a way to make it all flow smoothly! I just get so frustrated sometimes! I hate to be a whiner, but I want my chance too! I know that I am a mother and I need to work and to provide a home and food, but I don't want to work for $9.00 an hour forever, I want to have some savings set aside for the proverbial rainy day, I want more than to live from one paycheck to another and having those paychecks not even be enough. There are so many others out there like me, and I am not saying that they are doing anything wrong, but I have only myself and my children to think about in that sense and I have to make my own changes if I ever expect the world situation to improve. So, keep your fingers crossed for me, that my homework gets done, that I receive a decent grade, that my kids don't go hungry and that I can pay my bills and sleep in my bed one more month because I was able to make rent. I know that I have this to do... just keep finding the strength to pull it off that is the key.